Conspiracy Theory

Since no one really posts anything aside from Offord and I, it looks like I might as well write something. After work last night I came home and stumbled upon a bunch of 9/11 conspiracy theory debunking sites. I would link to them, but it really is not that important.

Who are these people who believe that 9/11 was a cover-up and that it was pulled off by the government? The same government who let CNN or some other news agency reveal the bombing plans for Iraq. I think these people should be beaten to death with a 13-inch dildo.

If you ever watch the Loose Change video, it seems to provide pretty compelling evidence. Or very clever editing. I will give those guys credit, they should join with Michael Moore to make documentaries. No truth involved, lots of falsehoods and assumptions...

Anyways, after reading all that stuff, I began to think about some of my favorite shows to watch. Stuff like Monster Quest. I do not believe in any of those things, but I enjoy watching those programs and seeing how they film it. Or how they make the scientists seem crazy, and the people with no credibility seem very sane.

My favorite is any Bigfoot show. I love when they get the biomechanics professors to analyze the video from the '60s of a Bigfoot. They try to say that you can seem from the way it moves that there is no way it could be a human in a furry suit. That cracks me up because the video is so grainy, I honestly believe they are seeing things where there is nothing. Also, has anyone ever seen the Bigfoot picture from Ridgeway, PA? Every expert who looks at it says that it is a bear with a case of mange. But no, the Bigfoot folks will draw lines and say that a bear cannot move that way. Actually here is a picture of what was captured, then a video analyzing the limb ratios. Aside from the fact that the photo is horrible and gives us no depth or perspective, how can anyone tell anything about the animal?


This is just one of those things that crack me up about people who get into this crap. There is no Bigfoot, no Loch Ness Monster, and no Chupacabra.

Me Quiz

This weeks quiz is a bit different. It is all about myself, what do you guys know about me? Let us begin.

1. Full Name?
2. Hair/Eye Color?
3. Favorite Alcoholic Beverage?
4. Favorite Non-Alcoholic Beverage?
5. Favorite Band?
6. Favorite Movie?
7. Favorite Book?
8. Name all the sports I played from 3rd grade to my senior year.
9. Who lived with me at State College Park apartment 352?
10. Have I ever broken a bone?
11. What foreign countries have I been to?
12. What was my major in college?
13. When I was a server, what was my introduction to tables?
14. What is my record in fights against my brother?
15. What kind of underwear do I wear?

Have fun with this one guys. Here are the answers from last week:
1. Mexico-Mexico City
2. Canada-Ottawa
3. United States-Washington D.C.
4. Panama-Panama City
5. Jamaica-Kingston
6. Jordan-Amman
7. Iraq-Baghdad
8. Egypt-Cairo
9. Albania-Tirana
10. Latveria-Doomstadt
11. Madripoor-Madripoor
The previous two are countries in the Marvel Universe, Latveria is the kingdom where Dr. Doom rules with an iron fist. Madripoor is a tiny island that resembles Singapore and usually is a place where villains tend to live.

12. The Persian Empire-Persepolis
13. Ireland-Dublin
14. Kazakhstan-Astana
15. Earth-haha, Adam got that one, E, that comes from a joke when we were younger, my dad asked him what the capital of Russia was and Adam replied "R." I did not think he would remember that...

I was surprised with how knowledgeable Adam and Offord are at geography. Offord scored 8 right, plus gets a bonus for actually knowing a city in Kazakhstan. Adam also scored 8 and gets the capital of Earth, which gives him 9, but that should not really count since it was an inside joke. So, I will call it a tie and just say that I am very impressed. If you are wondering, the only two I did not know were Albania and Kazakhstan.
This is the flag of Albania, which looks pretty cool to me.

What Must Transpire

For most of you Penn State fans out there, you are probably asking yourself the question, how did we lose to Iowa? We would definitely be playing for the national title, but could that still happen? It would be one of the largest long shots ever, but crazy things happen this time of year. Allow me to explain.

First off we need Alabama to beat Florida in the SEC Championship game. Why? Simple, Penn State needs to move ahead of the other one loss teams without playing a game, how can that happen? By them losing. Florida would have two losses and would drop from the top three.

Second, we need the Big 12 teams to beat each other, which they have done all year. Texas A&M beating Texas would be great, but unlikely. Oklahoma could lose to Oklahoma State, which would be fantastic. If none of those things happen, we need to cheer for Missouri in the Big 12 title game against Oklahoma.

Third, we must pretend that USC has a chance of losing. If Notre Dame could somehow upset the mighty Trojans, especially after getting beat by Syracuse, that would be incredible. Cannot see it happening, but one can dream. Plus they have their heated rivalry game with UCLA, which can always be interesting...

The Big 12 scenerio really comes down to the South champ losing to Missouri because if any of the other teams in the South have one loss, it would not make sense to have them play in the national championship game, but not be the conference champ. Yes, strange things happen involving the BCS.

Basically what I am saying is that these upcoming weeks may seem meaningless to PSU fans, but we need to put our rally caps on and hope for some big upsets. Also, Alabama needs to beat Florida...

New Quiz Day

It's new quiz day here at the pancake. What shall the topic be? Since it is vacation week, I will stay with that theme. I will name a country, you gotta name the capital. NO CHEATING JERKS! And by the way some of these countries are fictional comic book cities and some are ancient empires...

1. Mexico
2. Canada
3. United States (that's a freebie)
4. Panama
5. Jamaica
6. Jordan
7. Iraq
8. Egypt
9. Albania
10. Latveria
11. Madripoor
12. The Persian Empire
13. Ireland
14. Kazakhstan
15. Earth

Last weeks answers:
1. Superman-Clark Kent
2. The Flash-Barry Allen/Wally West/and for a brief time Bart Allen (from this picture I would guess this is the Wally version, but I could be wrong.)
3. Green Lantern-Hal Jordan
4. Batman-Bruce Wayne
5. Wonder Woman-Princess Diana (sometimes uses Diana Prince)
6. Booster Gold-Michael John Carter
7. Animal Man-Buddy Baker
8. Batgirl-Barbara Gordon
9. Captain Atom-Nathaniel Adam
10. Blue Beatle-Ted Kord

Greg won the epic battle with 11 points over Ryan's 7 1/2...that is something to brag about.

NFL Power Rankings - Week 11

This week in the NFL gave us our first tie since 2002, and the first 11-10 game in history. Yes that's right, in case you didn't hear the first 842 times the media said it, the 11-10 finish was the first in history. That will go down as the most useless random statistic ever talked about for more than 5 seconds. Anyway, in light of Josh and Gideon's amazing trip - from what I've read at least - part of this week's rankings will be vacation themed - i.e. who is going, where, and why.

Onto the rankings:

1. Tennessee Titans - Vince Young. The "poster child" mobile quarterbacks are having a rough go at it: Culpepper, Tavaris Jackson, DeMarcus Russell, VICK, Young, etc. Of those who are still managing to start, their teams are 2-18. Throw in an aging McNabb who has probably 1 season left and David Garrard who can't bring the Jaguars over .500, and all you're left with is Chad Pennington, the slowest of unathletic QBs. IMO, the excitement surrounding the "slash" QB is quickly fading as coaches are learning that 1. NFL defenses are better than college defenses, and can easily contain running QBs, 2. QBs are meant to be PASSERS, so you better have a good arm and vision, and 3. QBs in college that dominated because of both their legs and arms aren't used to the change of pace in the NFL. Nearly every major prospect quarterback coming out of college next year is a pure passer (except Tebow), and I believe this may be a sign of things to come. That said, Vince needs to take a trip to Edmonton to get to know the locals, because that's where he'll most likely be playing 5 years from now.

2. New York Giants - Plaxico Burress. Anyone remember the Simpsons where Mr. Burns got a bunch of ringers for the company softball team, but inexlicably almost every player couldn't play, including Ozzie Smith who fell into a bottomless pit? Does anyone have directions to said pit?

3. Carolina Panthers - The entire organization. Charlotte. Wait, you're already there? Quit calling yourselves the "Carolina" Panthers. Let the baby Carolina get their own team...

4. Tampa Bay Bucs - The entire team. They already live in Tampa, do they need a vacation?

5. Indianapolis Colts - Peyton Manning. Playboy Mansion. How hilarious would it be to see Peyton on the Girls Next Door??

6. Pittsburgh Steelers - Ben Roethlisberger and the offensive line. A team-building retreat ala the Office, because if Ben loses one more game because of 13 deflating sacks, he may pull a gun on his line.

7. Arizona Cardinals - Edgerrin James. Heaven, because his career is dead. Or for those atheists out there, a local moritorium.

8. Dallas Cowboys - Tony Romo's pinky. Unknown location overseas. It better hide if that finger causes them to miss the playoffs...I can think of another place it could hide but you can just use your imaginations.

9. Washington Redskins - Jim Zorn. Tahiti. Spend your fat future contract somewhere nice Mr. Zorn.

10. Green Bay Packers - Aaron Rodgers. Anywhere warm. I mean, hasn't he earned that?

11. New York Jets - Brett Favre. Next year's cruise with Josh and Gideon, because doesn't he just seem like a fun guy to go drinking with?

12. Denver Broncos

13. New England Patriots - BenJarvis Green-Ellis. I don't know, but I mention his name any chance I get.

14. Baltimore Ravens

15. Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan. Michael Vick's prison cell, so he can thank him personally for handing the team and the title of "savior" of the city of Atlanta over to him.

16. Philadelphia Eagles - The team. Anywhere, because who the hell wants to be in Philadelphia?

17. Miami Dolphins

18. New Orleans Saints - The entire organization. London. They are undefeated there, and last time I checked, hurricanes are considered less hazardous.

19. Chicago Bears - Rex Grossman. Detroit. They need a quarterback, right?

20. Minnesota Vikings - Tavaris Jackson. Any other Canadian football team that Vince Young won't be on, unless Jackson couldn't even land a starting gig there either, then they could be buddies.

21. San Diego Chargers - Norv Turner. Anywhere a team needs an offensive coordinator, because time and again he's proved that's all he's good at.

22. Cleveland Browns - Romeo Crennel. A weight loss clinic. Did you see him trying to jump after they beat the Bills? I swear the guy has a negative inch vertical.

23. Buffalo Bills - The Entire Organization. Oh Canada, my something something something...

24. Jacksonville Jaguars

25. Houston Texans

26. Kansas City Chiefs

27. Seattle Seahawks - Mike Holmgren. Canton, Ohio. Just call it a career already and quit while you're still barely ahead...

28. San Francisco 49ers - Alex Smith. Wait, is he even on the 49ers anymore?

29. Cincinatti Bengals - The whole team. Disney World, because they are undefeated in November!

30. St. Louis Rams

31. Oakland Raiders - Al Davis. 4 feet deep in the Mojave Desert. I'm sure most of Oakland would love to drive him there.

32. Detroit Lions - Calvin Johnson. Hawaii, because they should just let him relax until next season. He's the only good player on the team and the last thing they need is an injury...

MVP Watch
1. Kurt Warner (Clear cut favorite)
2. Drew Brees
3. Adrian Peterson
4. Clinton Portis
5. Peyton Manning
6. Aaron Rodgers
7. Michael Turner
8. Philip Rivers
9. Jay Cutler
10. Kerry Collins

while ngewo and the dizzle are out on the ocean...

those guys are out enjoying the sea, a trip i wish i could be on. too bad i can't take any vacation yet... if only they went over something like thanksgiving...

anyway... some funny stuff out there in the news world i'd like to share. In England, "Garden gnomes banned from church cemetery because they are 'unnatural creatures.' " Which is a great headline. they also banned teddy bears. here's the site... link this if you can anyone...

'unnatural creatures'

i love the reasoning here. they skipped the obvious reason you wouldn't allow them in a cemetary... they are creepy, and remind allison of me. you'd think that would be a sure fire winner. instead, they banned them because they are unnatural... which is ironic, considering the multitude of unnatural biblical creatures floating about in sacred texts. someone should put up a leviathan statute... and i'm not talking thomas hobbes. but that might be pretty cool.

also, on the whole unmarried people and adoption thing... Arkansas adopted by proposition a new law that prevents straight and gay unmarried couples from adopting. this is sort of amusing for several reasons. first, the state has a backlog of kids needing homes. they have something like 3 times the number of kids needing homes as they do available families as it is, without restricting people who choose or are not able to marry from adopting. hey, better to have kids have the kids move around in foster homes than risk them being liberal or gay. or worse yet, an atheist libertarian... people really need to sit and think this stuff through.

i'm not a big fan of all this intervention and moral clarity. as a skeptic and atheist, i think that calls of moral clarity and meaning should be examined extraordinarily carefully because of the implications these claims carry. maybe we should examine why we believe what we believe a lot more carefully. there are too many questions we are not brave enough to ask.

NFL Power Rankings - Week 10

Short and sweet this weekend as not too much has changed at the top or at the bottom.

A few notes from the week: PLAY CALLS - it's easy to second guess play calls after the game, but I can recall some absolutely terrible ones this week - yes I'm talking about you Mike Martz/Singletary. That Arizona/49ers game was just downright terrible. Don't get me wrong, it was an exciting end, but it was more of which team will play worse. On the other hand, Kurt Warner once again played great and saved them from an embarrassing loss. More play call foolery took place in Kansas City where some sort of ugly bootleg ended the game for the Chiefs. I mean come on, you have ONE play to make a statement and win a huge game for your franchise, and that is what you call? Sheesh, I could draw up a better play in my sleep. The Steelers game was terrible as well; when they had the lead they should have ran the ball more and took the game out of Ben's hands. Once it was in his, it was over. Never in a season have I noticed more goal line stands, and I have to believe it has a lot to do with the play calls. Coaches, go play some Madden and get it right next time...

Onto the rankings:

1. Tennessee Titans
2. New York Giants
3. Carolina Panthers
4. Washington Redskins
5. Tampa Bay Bucs
6. Indianapolis Colts
7. Pittsburgh Steelers
8. Arizona Cardinals
9. Philadelphia Eagles
10. New England Patriots
11. Baltimore Ravens
12. Dallas Cowboys
13. Atlanta Falcons
14. Chicago Bears
15. Green Bay Packers
16. Denver Broncos
17. New York Jets
18. San Diego Chargers
19. Minnesota Vikings
20. Miami Dolphins
21. Buffalo Bills
22. New Orleans Saints
23. Jacksonville Jaguars
24. Cleveland Browns
25. Houston Texans
26. Seattle Seahawks
27. Kansas City Chiefs
28. St. Louis Rams
29. San Francisco 49ers
30. Cincinatti Bengals
31. Oakland Raiders
32. Detroit Lions

MVP Watch
1. Kurt Warner
2. Drew Brees
3. Adrian Peterson
4. Clinton Portis
5. Philip Rivers
6. Brian Westbrook
7. Peyton Manning
8. Aaron Rodgers
9. Jay Cutler
10. Matt Ryan

Fun With Links - 11/7

The Neal Huntington Era officially begins:

Not the U.S., not Latin America, not Japan, but...

Derek Bell x 100...but not really

How many years did we hold on to Aramis Ramirez?

But on the bright side...



...I'll try to have some fun link-themed posts in the future

i hate to move the quiz down...

i hope you all still read about the quiz. but this i have to share. it may be the best news story ever. read it for yourself, it won't take long. then come back and share. of all the accidents i've ever wanted to see...

Wheels gone wild*

you are going to have to cut and paste that unless josh can make it a link.

enjoy.


*Linktified

DC Comics Quiz

This weeks quiz deals with comic book characters from the DC Universe. To throw out a twist though, you get 1/2 a point for naming the character and 2 points for naming the secret identity. No cheating. Good luck.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Answers to last week:
1. Iron Man, Tony Stark, Robert Downey Jr.
2. Dazed and Confused, Mike, Adam Goldberg
3. Se7en, David Mills, Brad Pitt
4. 300, King Leonidas, Gerard Butler
5. Sideways, Jack, Thomas Hayden Church
6. Unforgiven, William Munny, Clint Eastwood
7. Knocked Up, Pete, Paul Rudd
8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Dennis, Michael Palin
9. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jay, Jason Mewes
10. Poolhall Junkies, Johnny, Mars Callahan

Congrats to my brother for know almost all of them.

NFL Power Rankings - Week 9

In addition to the rankings, I will throw in a mid-season fantasy update. So far my teams are doing well so I'm happy with that, but let's take a look at the unpredictability of draft picks. According to Yahoo! Preseason Rankings, the top 10 were:

Player / Current Ranking
Tomlinson 25
Peterson 10
S. Jackson 31
Westbrook 17
Addai 136
Barber 3
Gore 7
Brady 2061
Portis 1
Moss 58

I think that proves the draft has a large amount of luck involved, and playing the waiver wire is probably just as important as the draft in the long run. No amount of research in the world could have predicted injuries, so I'd say sometimes auto-drafting won't end up being all that bad. Luckily in both my pay leagues I drafted Portis first...that one is working out.

Onto the rankings. This week I'll ask the biggest question on my mind for each team.

1. Tennessee Titans - Undefeated? Really?

2. New York Giants - Can they afford to cut Plax?

3. Carolina Panthers - How old is Muhsin Muhammad?

4. Pittsburgh Steelers - Is Byron potentially a better option than Ben?

5. Washington Redskins - Now that Campbell has finally thrown an interception, are there many more to come?

6. Philadelphia Eagles - What will Westbrook and McNabb hurt next?

7. Tampa Bay Bucs - Without consistency, can this team actually go anywhere?

8. Green Bay Packers - Is Ryan Grant finally healthy and ready to get the running game back on track?

9. Arizona Cardinals - Will Matt Leinart go on a drinking binge, get Warner's wife pregnant, and break both of Kurt's kneecaps while yelling "I f***ed the prom queen, what have you done bitch"?

10. Indianapolis Colts - With Addai and Manning back, will they regain their AFC prowess?

11. New England Patriots - How bad does a knee infection hurt?

12. Dallas Cowboys - Will Romo even want to come back to this mess when he could just chill in Hollywood with his millions of dollars and "superstar" girlfriend?

13. Chicago Bears - SEXY REXY! Wait that's not a question, or is it?

14. Buffalo Bills - Will another disappointing season mean the Bills are Canada bound?

15. Baltimore Ravens - Are they good enough to survive Joe Flacco?

16. Denver Broncos - Why is Ryan Torain getting so much hype?

17. New Orleans Saints - Will Drew Brees break Dan Marino's passing yards records, and if so, is he a shoe-in for MVP?

18. Atlanta Falcons - With the addition of a few defensive stars, will this team dominate the NFC South for years to come?

19. New York Jets - How does this team keep winning?

20. Minnesota Vikings - Adrian Peterson or Chris Johnson for next year's fantasy draft?

21. San Diego Chargers - Is Merriman the most important player for his own team's defense in the league?

22. Miami Dolphins - After surviving the brutal part of their schedule, can last year's laughing stock make a playoff run?

23. Jacksonville Jaguars - What is different about this year's team and last year's?

24. Houston Texans - My prediction for them to get to over .500 is not looking good with Schaub injured, but can Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme lead them back?

25. Cleveland Browns - How many interceptions will Brady Quinn throw this week?

26. Seattle Seahawks - Will Seattle sports fans finally "drink the punch"?

27. St. Louis Rams - Was Donnie Avery the biggest swing of emotion in fantasy football history in a 2 week span?

28. Kansas City Chiefs - Will Larry Johnson be on the Raiders/Bengals next season?

29. San Francisco 49ers - Will Vernon Davis be on the Raiders/Bengals next season?

30. Cincinatti Bengals - Will anyone help the Bengals next season?

31. Oakland Raiders - Will they win a game the rest of this season?

32. Detroit Lions - Culpepper? Really?


I look forward to your answers!

MVP Watch
1. Drew Brees
2. Kurt Warner
3. Clinton Portis
4. Philip Rivers
5. Brian Westbrook
6. Aaron Rodgers
7. Donovan McNabb
8. Adrian Peterson
9. Chris Johnson
10. Peyton Manning
319. Jerricho Cotchery

Steelers/Redskins

So if any of you watched ESPN at all today (I know, most of you have jobs that do not have you coming home at 7:00 a.m.), you learned that the game before the election if the Redskins win, the incumbent party stays in power, but if the 'Skins lose, well you get the idea.

As they said on Mike and Mike, it would be great to see Obama on the sidelines in a Ben jersey and waving his terrible towel...

Go Steelers!