NFL Power Rankings - Week 4

Since I diligently update my rankings on Tuesday every week, and there have not been any posts in a while, I will bore you all again with my football devotion. As usual, feel free to post your own and discuss the last or the upcoming week of NFL or college football. I am missing Penn State now, especially since their games on never on TV and we only really got to see one great season while we were there...Anyway, onto the rankings.

1. New York Giants - Finally the Cowboys have been dethroned, and who would have thought it was at the hands of Jason Campbell!

2. Dallas Cowboys - Still the best team in my humble opinion, but they need to prove they can win a close game before they can regain the top spot.

3. Tennessee Titans - Definitely the biggest surprise of the season (started at #21 on my preseason poll), but they are showing a 2000 Baltimore Ravens-type season is still possible in the NFL - a veteran QB with a fast and talented defense spells success, especially in what is looking like an AFC that is still completely wide open.

4. San Diego Chargers - An 0-3 start last season led to a #2 seed in the playoffs (I think, do not fact check that), so an 0-2 start really should not have caused too much alarm. These guys are good and with Norv Turner leading the way we will be looking at another great season/ playoff collapse by the boys in powder blue.

5. Buffalo Bills - The enigma of the NFL right now, the Bills are only this high because they are 4-0. They'll meet San Diego in week 7 in game that may decide top billing in the AFC. For now they face a terrible Arizona defense in Week 5 and probably put up 84 points.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers - The fact that the Steelers are 3-1 and #6 in this poll truly shows how open (crappy?) the AFC is. Parity (not parody) in the NFL is alive and well!

7. Green Bay Packers - Anyone else sensing an Aaron Rodgers collapse? With Favre throwing 6 td's and Green Bay watching Rogers self-destruct against the Bucs, things could get rough in the Cheesy City.

8. Denver Broncos - There are 3 components to football and the Broncos forgot one of them to start the season. Guess which one (hint: LJ had 193 yards)

9. Jacksonville Jaguars - These guys haven't really proven much this year yet they're 2-2. If only the Texans had pulled the upset...

10. Washington Redskins - Toughest division in football history? Perhaps, but the 'Skins can definitely hold their own. I for one can't wait for the showdown with the Steelers. That may be a true test of which league is better. If only they were in the NFC West...

11. Indianapolis Colts - No real movement here for the Colts since they were on a bye. I still like their playoff chances just because of Peyton, but we will see. The over/under on new Manning commercials through the Super Bowl is 11.

12. Tampa Bay Bucs - Another surprise team in my opinion, the Bucs' defense looked young (although they are far from it). My guess is they will come close to the playoffs, but with Brian Griese at the helm I don't like their chances.

13. Carolina Panthers - These guys have the potential to be a top-tier NFC team, but something inside is holding me back from ranking them higher. Could it be health issues, or could it be female intuition? I suppose we'll never know...

14. New England Patriots - The bye week, and a number of surpise AFC teams, only hurt the Pats' ranking this week. Also, it was another week gone by to reflect upon the ineptitude of Matt Cassel. There might have been a reason he backed up Matt Lienart...

15. Philadelphia Eagles - The biggest drop this week by a long way. Is any team in the NFL more dependent on one player? McNabb and Westbrook are ticking injury timebombs, and so is this team's chances in the NFC East.

16. New Orleans Saints - With Reggie Bush anything is possible. With the New Orleans defense, nothing is possible. The Saints will be marching right out of the playoff picture come December, you can count on it.

17. Chicago Bears - How can you not like the scrappy Bears? Well, I can think of lots of reasons, but for now the Kyle Orton love train keeps on rolling. We'll see how long it will take to derail it...BRING BACK SEXY REXY! (Is that really his nickname or did I make that up? hmm)

18. New York Jets - 6 td's!? Brett Favre is back! Green Bay screwed up! Down with Rogers! (Oh wait, they still are only 2-2 and it was only the Cardinals that they thrashed. Did anyone see the highlights from that game? I'm 98% positive someone paid the Cardinals' secondary to not go more than 20 yards back from the line of scrimmage, and 1% positive Brett Favre developed mind control over the offseason.)

19. Baltimore Ravens - I'd say this team resembles the 2000 Ravens that won the superbowl with amazing defense, until I remembered that this IS the 2000 Ravens defense that won the superbowl with amazing defense. On a sidenote, did anyone catch when the announcers said how much of a role model Ray Lewis is to young players? Sheesh, maybe if they need advice on how to escape murder charges. Marvin Harrison must have a new best friend...

20. Arizona Cardinals - Speaking of the Cardinals, they still are the best team in the NFC West. I don't really have much more to say about them, but I will say that Kurt Warner is a great QB. He is somehow holding that team together, for now.

21. Minnesota Vikings - Gus Frerotte is clearly not the answer.

22. Seattle Seahawks - See opposite of New England posting. The bye week only helped these guys because you remember that Mike Holmgren is a good enough coach to lead this hapless group of scout teamers to the playoffs. Stranger things have happened...such as:

23. San Francisco 49ers - JT O'Sullivan leading these bottom dwellers to the playoffs. It could happen people...

24. Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan could be a great QB in the future, and Michael Turner could be a great RB in the nearer future, but there is just too much competition in the surprisingly potent NFC South for these guys to get there this year.

25. Miami Dolphins - The good news is, the Dolphins found a QB with a better arm than Chad Pennington. Too bad he's also the starting running back.

26. Cleveland Brownies - Three cheers for the Brownies! The Brady Quinn Era is nearly upon us and I for one can't wait to see him crash and burn.

27. Kansas City Chiefs - Like all the sports reporters, I will chalk this victory only up to poor Denver defense and a crazy home atmosphere. Nothing will change the fact that LJ is going to complain and Damon Huard is going to blow games.

28. Oakland Raiders - I wikipedia'd (spelling? word? reliable source?) Al Davis and found out he is in fact alive. With so much parity in the NFL, how can a franchise seriously act the way they do behind the scenes and expect to ever win? This team is a bad joke and won't win until Davis is gone. Anyone else think Madden would make a good owner??

29. Houston Texans - So close! The elusive first win will have to wait. On the bright side, Matt Schaub showed he is better than what he looked like in the first 2 weeks, and with Slaton and Mario Williams, this team does have some pieces to eventually be a contender.

31. Cincinnati Bungals - The Bungals are back! And just in time. You would be hard pressed to find a more demeaning nickname for a team...How can a team THIS bad really not be ranked last? HOW you ask.

30. Detroit Lions - Because of the Lions and the Rams. Actually, with the firing of Matt Millen, I will move these guys up. As I heard on the radio, it can't get any worse right? Right??

32. St. Louis Rams - I was wrong, it can. Luckily for the Rams they will probably win a game or two in the hapless NFC West. I would feel worse for Marc Bulger before I realized that this is his ticket out! Why is he so upset?? Would anyone want to play for the Rams? Now if Stephen Jackson can figure out how to escape...

Sorry that was so long, but I hate my job and look for any reason to avoid doing work. I hope you enjoyed this week's rankings and I look forward to comments. Until next week, good night and good luck.

what the wii is supposed to be

ok. i'm not big on reviews or anything, and have no desire to do such generally. but i do want to commend the makers of the game, "the force unleashed" for the nintendo wii. this game does exactly what the wii was meant to do. you totally forget that the game looks so much cooler on the other platforms. instead, you are immersed in the game. this game is the first game that defines why i purchased a wii last summer. this is the first game that i have been interested in playing alone for the wii. to this point the wii was a party game system, but this game makes the wii fun to play alone, which is a real accomplishment.

Football Friday

This weekend should be a pretty good one for football. On the college front, PSU takes on Temple, which should end badly for the Owls. Right now, I have to say that I am very surprised by PSU. They look good, and I would love to see them step up and take the Big Ten, and shut up everyone who says how overrated the conference is and blah blah blah.

I mean, the Big East is god awful (anyone see WVU lose last night Colorado?), and to be honest so is the Pac10, hell aside from the SEC, well you get my point.

Moving on to the NFL. Another match up where my team plays a dreaded Philadelphia team (Temple is in Philly, right?), the Steelers take on the Eagles. The Eagles are coming off two weeks of offensive power, and the Steelers, well they have good defense.

Personally, I feel the Steelers will win, it will be close, it will be boring, which is generally what a Steelers game is like. Anyways, I am glad to be away from State College, cannot imagine how annoying that town will be when everyone gets drunk and rowdy. Both fanbases are annoying up there. Steelers songs, Eagles chants...ugh.

is that mouthwash in your eyes?

it is now election season. well. this election season has been going on for what seems like my entire post-graduate career. i'm done with my graduate education and it is still going on. this election is like cancer. it is always there, just waiting. then you are lucky (meaning you are cured, not dead) and it is over. but after it is over, what do you do? move on? you just dodged death. what do you do after that? go back to working your little job? go watch a movie? buy a car? drop out of college and play some video games?

ngewo wants to talk politics. so i'm going to put an idea out there. i read the ny times often. if you want rational answers to problems, maybe try www.becker-posner-blog.com or www.skeptic.com. don't try newspapers and presidential candidates.

my position on the election is this, who cares what their policies are. presidential elections, like everything else, are way too simplified. commercials want you to think two things, first that the other guy is a jackass and second that actual policy statements matter. elections are not about policies, they are about personalities. and they should be.

the president that is successful is not the one that has strict policy answers, its the one that listens and adapts. its also the one that isn't bound by rules. rules are ridiculous, unless it is a sporting event. then, maybe. but even there i can think of lots of sensible rules based upon positive goals like safety, which just don't work. two instances, pass interference and any roughing call in hockey. you can't define those things. they are always in flux based upon the momentum and mood of the game. being the president is more like making a pass interference call than it is an offsides call.

as usual, editors are complaining that there are very few policy positions being espoused. but who cares? policy positions do not matter generally. the job of the president is always changing and he doesn't make the rules alone. another for instance, it doesn't matter much about any candidate's position on abortion. whether you love god or not, abortion is constitutionally protected. that is not likely to change. it might make you feel better, but his position doesn't matter.

what does matter is how likeable a guy the president is. is he able to negotiate well? is he smart enough to adapt and know who to listen to and when he doesn't know what he needs to know?

mccain is telling us that obama's going to spend all of our hard earned income and that republicans will not. this isn't true, they will all spend our income. first, obama never advocated raising taxes. second, the repubs have spent more money than we have had coming in without raising taxes, which doesn't speak of fiscal responsibility. in fact, it sounds like they were spending our children's income, or my income a few years from now.

obama's telling us that mccain is just like bush. well, this isn't true either. he's not just like bush. there are plenty of differences between the two. and the statement means nothing, so what if he voted with him on your "90%" of the time number. maybe all those votes with him were on run of the mill things. it is meaningless information. sounds great though.

the truth is, there is no good information. there can't be. its not a job like any other. and you can't make promises. well maybe one. the promise they should make is that they will be smart and not think of their own interests first. they will be cool guys to the rest of the world. they will work to improve everyone's lives by creating opportunity. now, tell us how you will create opportunity.

there's a difference between telling us how they will create opportunity versus espousing policy statements. Abortion is immoral or NAFTA is bad is a policy statement. but explaining how you will create opportunity is a statement of one's philosophical and personal vision. these are different. policy is a rule, philosophy is frame of reference. for instance, i'll create opportunity by opening markets, because opening markets does the following things..., although it has the following immediate negative effects... it will be a net gain.

so the candidates should stop giving us policy rules, but general visions. its childish to believe that they can follow policy rules, but their philosophical solutions will tell us how they analyze what comes up before them. being president isn't about making rules, that's the legislature's job. being president is about directing the country and speaking to the world on behalf of the american people. tell us how you are going to do that.

Sports Blogger

I don't see why we don't try to come up with a live feed sports blogging show. We are on the ESPN web-site for only 15 minutes get viewers to instant message their way onto the show instead of calling, and have a live feed with franky C. the guy who does all the impressions of madden, george w., etc. We could all interchange, depending on our availability, so we would all be the hosts of the show at some point or another. We would argue about important aspects of sports, if there really is any important aspect of sport, where half of the air time would be spent on the argument of offords latest blog of the ineptitude of the Pittsburgh Pirates. There would be 3 of us on at any given time, with the live feed of franky C preparing for his next hilarious episode of frank tv. I could see the first show going something like this:

Gideon: "Welcome to 'Another day in Sports', where we debate the darker part of athletics you don't care to. I am your host Gideon 'ninja lightning' Bryant, yes the cousin of Kobe, and these are my fellow anchors Josh 'can't quite reach that scratch' Croyle and Jason 'i'm shorter but better than you' Offord.

Josh: Thanks G.N.L.B. Yesterday we debated the bigs MVP Race, and why Romo's woman isn't as hot as brady's women combined. Now we'll send over to Offord for todays segment of "The ineptitude of the Pittsburgh Pirates"...little man?

Offord: The Pirates suck, anything to add Franky C?

Frank C (with madden impression): The woorllddd should retire the number 4.

Gideon: From the NFL? OR From football in particular.

Frank C (with madden impression): From the entire num-num-numerical system.

Josh: Haha! So we would go 1,2,3,5? I get it, very funny john, very funny, we only have 30 seconds to dis...

Frank C (with madden impression): In fact we should retire 4 from the dictionary, anything that uses the sound of 4 should-should be gooonnneee. Like-like foreskin would be favreskin.

Offord: Yes but we're talking about how bad the Pittsburgh Pirates are, even be-favre (giggles at his own humorous input)cam bonifay.

Frank C (with madden impression): The-ah Pittsburgh Pirates are a great football team.

Offord: The Pirates don't play foo...

Frank C (with madden impression): favrety-favre!

::Black out::



It's just an idea, we would have to change the dialogue since i stole parts of it from a DVE comedy skit, but the foundation is there guys. It'll be like a younger panel of PTI with all of their hair. We can make this work. Oh, and I posted my first ever blog on my actual blogger site, it's a rough translation of what is going on in my day to day life, which is basically nothing, and i'm very ignorant to the function of computer websites...or technology in particular. Anyway, it's a start. Please elaborate on the specifics, you know it's a great idea.

Weird Monday

-Let me start off by saying that being awake all day is tough to do, I am starting become very tired. Do not be surprised if I write like 2343 posts today, and only one of them will make sense.

-I just watched Harry Potter have sex with some girl. Very disturbing. Although the girl is pretty hot, as evidenced by this picture:

-The college football rankings came out. How did Georgia get first place votes, but Oklahoma did not? Honestly though, USC deserves to be number one. I guess cheering for OSU did not help. I just want to know how Auburn is in the top ten? I guess a 3-2 victory over Mississippi State is impressive...

-WHYGAVS has a great post about why Andy LaRoche should play right now, despite his struggles. I completely agree with what Pat has to say on the subject, and suggest everyone check it out.

-Really?

and i'm going to give it to them...

hi. this is my "who we are post." i'm not a yeti.

i don't like to use capital letters. we are lucky i'm even using punctuation.

i'm exceedingly rational. i am a committed skeptic and atheist. i live by several tenants, i'll summarize them briefly:

1. everyone lies.
2. someone somewhere always screws things up.
3. everyone acts out of self-interest, the trick is finding out what they see as their self-interest.
4. as far as the world goes, there is only the normal and that which we haven't explained yet. nothing is unexplainable, there is no paranormal.

i'm on my second career. my first was as a restaurant manager. that didn't work out very well. not that i was bad at it, i just couldn't stand doing it. turns out, i don't like restaurants. i don't like irrationality or excessive exaggeration. there is a lot of that in restaurants. people have no concept of reality, and apparently, they think that telling me their food is "ice cold" is more offensive than if it is only room temperature. news flash, its not. its just more annoying. and people never seemed to understand that you are there to help them and fix problems.

i still fix problems. i'm kind of a fixer in ways. i fire people, i come up with clever solutions to problems, and i try to anticipate what other people want or will do. i try to figure out how we know who did what, and how to beat them. sometimes i figure out how to convince people they are going to lose, even when they think they are right. that's not easy to do. everyone always thinks they are a winner. they aren't always right about that.

that's as much as i want to say what i do. this gives the reader some perspective about where i'm coming from though. that might be helpful. maybe do some proverbial light shedding.

enjoy the day. hopefully our compatriots post. maybe we should find some depressing stats about all of us. like we are all single and over the age of 27. how modern is that. or collectively we all total less than four stories in height. or our collective weight. or maybe that kooch is taller than offord and I combined. that is making me forlorn...

Who We Are Part One

Welcome to The Yummy Pancake. I am Ngewo, and I would like to tell you a little about myself. I am a seven foot tall Yeti, who recently moved from the mountains of Nepal, to a small village in southeast Cambodia. Why? Well why not, I am so freakin' tired of the cold. Seriously, snow everyday, that shit sucks. So I packed it up, and head down to the jungles for a bit.

Some of my interests include throwing rocks at mountain climbers, eating yaks, attacking villages, you know the usual. I am an avid Jai Alai fan, my favorite team being the Dengchi Ballchuckers, you can usually catch me at their home games.

Really that is about all there is for me to say. I am currently unemployed, for some reason the people in the area have a real problem with hiring a Yeti, but do not fear, I have found a quaint internet cafe where I can keep you all up on the happenings of the world. Hopefully in a few weeks I can find a job and buy a nice laptop, I am thinking about getting a Mac, what do you humans think?

Well that about wraps it up.

First Post - Ineptitude of the Pittsburgh Pirates

Since I was talking about this the other day, I figured I'd start a post. I know Gideon has no interest in the Pirates, but I none-the-less need to vent. I mentioned something about a top 10 worst transactions the Pirates made since 1992, so I will give you my list (had to make it top 15...). Also, I wanted to mention, in light of Tim Lincecum's amazing season, the player's taken after the Pirates' drafted Brad "broken armed Abe" Lincoln, the following were drafted: Brandon Morrow, Andrew Miller, Clayton Kershaw, Tim Lincecum, Max Scherzer, and Joba Chamberlain, among others. Thank you Mr. Littlefield for that last bit of sh*t you dumped on our faces. On to the list:

15. 3/31/04 Released LHP Joe Beimel.

14. 2/20/98 Signed Pat Meares as a Free Agent.

13. 1/18/00 Signed John Wehner as a Free Agent (for like the fourth time...).

12. 12/20/02 Acquired RHP Matt Herges from the Montreal Expos in exchange for minor league pitchers Chris Young and Jon Searles; Designated RHP Jim Mann for assignment.

11. 1/4/06 Signed OF Jeromy Burnitz to a one-year contract with a mutual option for 2007.

10. '93 Named Cam Bonifay General Manager.

9. 2/24/04 Signed Raul Mondesi as a Free Agent.

8. 7/30/01 Acquired OF Armando Rios and RHP Ryan Vogelsong (assigned to Triple-A Nashville) from the San Francisco Giants in exchange for RHP Jason Schmidt at OF John Vander Wal.

7. 11/1/00 Signed Jason Kendall to a 6-year $60 million contract.

6. 7/31/07 Acquired RHP Matt Morris from the San Francisco Giants in exchange for OF Rajai Davis and a player to be named.

5. 12/10/00 Signed Derek Bell to a $9 million contract.

4. 7/22/03 Acquired IF Jose Hernandez, minor league RHP Matt Bruback and a player to be named later from Chicago Cubs for 3B Aramis Ramirez, OF Kenny Lofton and cash considerations.

3. 3/6/99 Signed Kevin Young to $24 million contract.

2. 10/26/92 Barry Bonds granted Free Agency.

1. 7/13/01 Named Dave Littlefield General Manager.


Other Notables

3/8/07 Unconditionally released OF Jody Gerut.

1/31/03 Designated RHP Bronson Arroyo for assignment.

12/28/01 Traded OF Gary Matthews Jr. to the New York Mets in exchange for cash
considerations.

7/3/01 Designated OF Emil Brown for assignment.

12/16/98 Signed Ed Sprague as a Free Agent.