It's never too early to begin the discussion of the worst team in history, so I figured I'll kick things off. FYI, this seems like the most useful site for up to the minute Pirates news. Please add anything on your mind in the comments, I'll go through a few of mine.
- The Pirates are looking for a cheap, veteran right-handed hitting right fielder. You know who fits that description perfectly? Jason Michaels at $750,000. Oh wait, we just let him go. At least we didn't waste like $2 mil a year on a player who has never finished a full season in the majors. Mr. Rocco rumors, farewell.
- Why is it even a question that Jeff Karstens should be solidly in the rotation? Sadly, he is the most exciting player outsider to come into our franchise since Bay. If he can start for the Yankees he can start for the Pirates.
- On the other hand, who is Russ Ohlendorf and why is he even considered a candidate? Maybe it's his impressive 5.02 ERA at AAA last year. On the bright side, Daniel McCuthen has had very positive minor league numbers. If only he wasn't already 26...
- Looks like Dumatrait is the most current victim of the Pirates' Pitching Injury Curse. Someone come up with a cool name for it, maybe like who was the first major pitcher to blow out his arm in our organization?
- John Russel sucks. I will never forget, one of the last Pirate games I was actually interested in last year, the moment where I lost whatever confidence I had in him, which was next to none to begin with. The details are sketchy at this point, but we were playing the Brewers and the game was tied in the top of the ninth I think, maybe bottom of the eigth, and Pirates had first and third with one out. Ian Snell is due up (probably the only time he made it 7+ innings) and is considered one of the Pirates' top bunters. It's obviously a bunt situation, so we're golden, right? Nope, Russell takes our top batter off the bench, Sanchez, a proven crappy bunter, and gives him the sign to lay one down. He proceeds to bunt 30 feet in the air, compared to a good bunt which would be 0 feet in the air, and you can guess what happens after that. In case you can't, whoever was up next made the third out, Tyler Yates came in to pitch (MATT CAPPS WAS AVAILABLE), and gave up a game winning double to Prince Fielder. The end.
- Speaking of Snell, he is apparently playing in the WBC for Puerto Rico or something. Isn't he from Rhode Island?
- Right now I have the Pirates' rotation ranked as 4th worst in the league. That's a lofty expectation, isn't it?
- The only thing worse than guaranteeing Brandon Moss a starting position is guaranteeing Andy LaRoche a starting position. Look for a severe downgrade from last year's offense, at least for the first few months. Maybe they will surprise us as they get some experience...
- I will put up odds for the Pirates finishing at or above .500 at 20/1. Anyone who wants to throw some money away, let me know.
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6 comments:
wouldn't the odds for them to finish ABOVE .500 be 20-1? for them finishing below i think would be more like 1-1 or 1-2, so for everyone who pays a dollar for them to lose all season should only get 50 cents back. I wonder what the odds of the pirates winning the world series are? Maybe, 200-1? I think i'll go lay 200 bucks on the bucs winning the world series. Then i'll use the money to get a right handed hitting outfielder.
Kern...you are right, that should have said the odds of being above .500.
And yeah, go ahead and lay $200 on them winning the WS, and I will lay my $1 on them finishing below .500...even though I will not make money, my $.50 is still a lot better than nothing.
Or you could just give me the $200 and I will kick you in the nuts repeatedly.
Offord...have you seen the rumors that the Yankees want to trade Nady or Swisher for a pitcher. I love that DK's blog followers pretty much started a rumor that the Pirates were interested...did you happen to see that?
My odds have been revised. I'm glad no one took that bet right away!
I saw that there were articles saying they were interested, but i did not deem that blog-worthy. It's like saying the Pirates are interested in Manny, or ARod, or a competent starting pitcher. No chance.
I have a solution for the pirates needs for a veteran pitcher and right handed power bat. We need to make the pirates the 1999 All Dominican All-Star team! Here is the answer:
The pirates are looking for right handed power bat and veteran pitcher for a low-end affordable contract. How further low end can they go than Sammy Sosa and Pedro Martinez, while throwing out a minor league contract with an invite to training camp to Odalis Perez?
After stating later in 2008 that he was more than likely going to retire after the WBC, Sammy Sosa has renegged on those comments stating he would love to play for a major league team. As long as his biggest goal isn't to win a championship, the Pirates are as good a club as any. We could offer him a similar contract to the one smoltz just signed with the bosox only the incentives would at most drive the contract to about 7 million, which would just put him up there with the contracts of adam laroche and jack wilson, which wouldnt' be too extreme. Make sure the incentives are based on plate appearances at 400, 450, 500, 550 and 600, while making sure he only at most receives about 450 while still developing the likes of moss, mckutchen, and morgan. It's not like they would have to promise him to be catalyst of a fallen franchise, we don't need him for that, our management is doing just fine on their own, sammy just fall in line. Promise him he will start a majority of the season, right away Sammy will go into his court hearing mode of thinking "me speak no good engash, i hear me starter, i sign with you". Not only does that give us a right handed slugger, but his name would put butts in the seats atleast for the first solid month of April and maybe even into may, which is better than what we've done in the past. Better yet, we can go with Bonds, who would allegedly play for league minimum...any takers?
Now onto the the veteran pitching. Since Sammy has now signed with the pirates, the leads the way for Pedro to sign on for another 4 million dollar deal with heavy incentives, with a club option for 2010. He claimed after the death of his father towards the end of the season, he was starting to feel better and could possibly pitch for at least another year or 2. Now since the pirates have become so dominican friendly with Sammy, Pedro looks at the club differently. He sees the off season signings of newest indian all stars, babah and ganoosh and says, "this is a club looking to take chances. The pirates are going into a ridiculous direction and I want to be apart of it. I can probably talk those morons into any contract I want!" The Pirates management then realizes Pedro is actually a bigger mongaloid than themselves and end up stamping him to a 2 year contract worth 3 million per, but he can make it reach upwards at 10 million per if he reaches innings pitched each year of 200, 250, 300 and 400 respectively. If he gets his innings pitched to 600 combined over his 2 seasons, he gets full ownership of the team in 2012 after the team reaches the pinnacle of its 20th consecutive losing season.
After that genius move, the pirates then talk pedro into convincing Odalis Perez into a risky minor league deal with the pitch line of: "why go and be the worst #5 starter on any American League team, when you can be the best #2 starter this franchise has seen since john smiley"
then again, we could always hold out for adam hyzdu and bring steve blass out of the booth.
Very funny, but would Sammy Sosa really put butts in the seats? The risk of stray needles alone might keep me in the upper decks...and I don't think Pedro is done. He'll get a descent offer from a contender at some point, you watch.
I would come watch a game of Pedro starting, Sosa playing RF and Bonds in LF...the Pirates were already one of the worst defensive teams last year, not like they could get much worse.
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