USA: Way too much talent for me to even get a chance.
Russia: Sure, my grandfather came from Russia (or one of the new countries formed by the split of the USSR), but lets get real, convincing people to play for the Russian national team would probably confuse people and they would think I was starting some kind of Communist movement.
Germany: I think there is some German in me. However, German III kicked my ass at PSU, so fuck ze Germans. Sorry to any German readers out there.
England: Obviously not a country, but I am pretty certain some part of my family came from that region. They would never accept me though, my teeth are straight and I know nothing of cricket.
Damn, that pretty much screws up my theory of starting my own WBC team...or does it? I am sure at some point, at least someone from my ancestry has visited the country with coolest looking flag: Albania!
That settles it, I am starting the Albanian National Baseball Team. I would like us to be ready for play by 2012 (is that the next WBC? Shit, what year is this by the way???) We would definitely not win one single game, BUT we would dominate in jersey sales.
Can you imagine that flag turned into a baseball uniform? All red with a black, double-headed dragon on it. I get chills just thinking about it. What's that USA? You have Eva Longoria and a guy named Chase? Fuck you, we have cool jerseys, beat that.
A boy can dream.
3 comments:
Hmmm. I'm not so sure Albania would make a wise choice for countries to emigrate to. Firstly, for team eligibility you've gotta have some sort of residency, either your own or parental. Passing through just doesn't cut it.
Secondly, the next WBC isn't until 2013. Which, coincidentally, is also the year in which all life will be exterminated.
Thirdly, their are only 16 eligible teams, chosen because they were judged to be the "best baseball-playing nations in the world", with the ability to "provide global representation for the event." Albania is only judged to be the second best place to score an Albanian teenage sex slave. (The best place obviously being Chad).
With regards to the Albanian flag, it's clearly not a two-headed dragon - that's a mythological beast. Albanians, historically, have preferred worshiping scientific monstrosities; like aliens, and cyborg zombies.
The flag most probably depicts the remains of a chicken that has fallen a great distance breast-first onto a samurai sword. (Their chief export, of course, being poultry split in twain).
Man, I really got off track there for a second. I actually started out trying to be informative...
I thought the flag looked more like a griffin, but that's just me. There is a strong culture of dragon worshipping in Eastern Europe, so it's most likely a dragon.
gideon. you need to watch more history channel. all life will be exterminated in 2012.
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