No I'm not talking about Ryan's comparison between McLouth and Bonds. My first topic of conversation is Eric Hinske's recent claims that he sees "a lot of comparisons" between his former team, Tampa Bay, and the current Pirates. You know, now that I think about it, Paul Maholm, Zach Duke, Tom Gorzelanny, and Ian Snell DO remind me of Scott Kazmir, James Shields, Matt Garza, and David Price - how the hell did I miss that?? Who could forget the Carl Crawford / Brandon Moss comparison? Not me! Who needs BJ Upton when you have Nyjer Morgan?? A rookie sensation you ask? We have plenty! Look no further than Andrew McCutchen who most likely will be in the pros in 2010. Will he put up numbers similar to Longoria, my guess is yes! Probably better actually. I could go on, but the similarities are obvious for any dummy to see. CONCLUSION: ERIC HINSKE IS AN IDIOT
Second topic is about the Boston Red Sox organization. They are in favor of a salary cap? As Seth Meyers would say, Really?? I don't see how the Red Sox would be in favor of a salary cap unless the cap was $300 million. Therefore, they could bring the Yankees down a little bit (don't check that fact, I just mean the Yankees spend more) and make them even. Do the Red Sox really want to see a Minnesota v. Pittsburgh World Series? Does anyone other than us? I think it's a publicity stunt because they know they will never get the owners and players union on board. Please stop teasing us. CONCLUSION: RED SOX OWNERS ARE LIARS!
Lastly, Nate McLouth, while discussing how happy he is to get his contract, repeatedly stated how he was so proud to be a Pirate for another THREE years. Here is an exact quote: "I am so happy I get to play for 3 more years with the organization who drafted me, and let me sit in the minors for 7 years. (face begins to tense up) There is no better fit for me at this stage of my career while I prove I can be a consistent player...for the Yankees! (sh*t, did I say that out loud??). Anyway, I love this city and everything about it, and can't wait to finish my 3 year contract...er...career, in Pittsburgh." Verbatim. CONCLUSION: MCLOUTH IS A LIAR, WITH A TWIST OF IDIOT.
(okay that was obviously almost all fabricated, I love McLouth, but seriously...)
Some other notes:
- Rinku and Dinesh have arrived in Bradenton, and many believe they are simply a publicity stunt. I disagree, no one actually cares, and they will never see a major league game, or probably even anything above A ball
- My apologies to Sean Burnett who personally called me after I tore his career apart. He informed me that even his AAA salary will be a lot more than I make, and I should "suck it." Sorry Sean, I didn't think about it that way.
- I haven't heard anything about Monroe yet in spring training...is he even there? At least Pedro Alvarez is there...and apparently hitting a lot of balls into the parking lot. Hey, when I played softball home run derby, I hit some in the parking lot too. Who says we don't have anything in common?
- ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASEBALL!?!?
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